Terrible, no good, very bad blogger

So I’m a terrible, no good, very bad blog writer these days. I really promise I’m trying to improve the frequency of my posts, it just seems there are never enough hours in my days for everything I want to do. And while I’m disappointed that the weather is crappy outside today and it kept us from spending the day at the pool, and as much as I hate to admit that I’m spending copious amounts of hours inan American establishment (Burger King) instead, I’m also thrilled because it means I finally have a day to update my blog and skype everyone I’m missing so terribly.
Where oh where to begin…
Last weekend Hanne, Jordan, Julia and I traveled to Sucre – what the Bolivians consider to be the capital of Bolivia, even though the government is located in La Paz. It is a truly gorgeous city, known as the “white city” because all of the houses are white. Granted not quite the same as the Grecian houses, but still a beautiful8 city nonetheless. And although its beauty makes Sucre a “must-see” in Bolivia, its small size makes it very do-able in one weekend. We took a 10-hour bus ride from Cochabamba to Sucre overnight on Friday (for only 30 bolivanos – aka 4 dollars) and arrived bright and early at 5:30am – and then promptly took a 3 hour nap in the hostel until about 9. We spent the weekend more or less aimlessly wandering around the city, occasionally getting to glance into a church or museum, but unlike the US and Europe, everything in Bolivia is closed (or has limited hours) on the weekends. It was a very enjoyable weekend and we played lots of cards in cafes while drinking coffee, went to the local market Sunday morning and had a delicious breakfast of passion fruit juice and freshly made bread, and spent Sunday afternoon at the Mirador – a café that overlooks the entire city – reading and writing in our journals. We left Sucre at 6:30 on Sunday night and arrived back home around 5:30 am – which made work on Monday a real treat. One thing of note though, although bus travel is very popular in Bolivia, the roads the buses travel on are something I might equate to off-roading and can be quite bumpy – definitely terrain that coach buses were not built for – but the off-road adventures often provide breathtaking views of the beautiful Bolivian landscape.

(Hanne and I at the Mirador overlooking the city)

My favorite boy, Andres, got moved up to Sala 2 in the past week or so. The day that it happened I didn’t notice that he wasn’t in the Sala (because he had been there at bathtime and I was involved in bathing the other kids and then putting towels out to try, etc etc) until lunchtime when he wasn’t sitting at our table and I asked one of the mama’s why and she told me “Andres ha pasado a Sala 2” (Andres has passed on to Sala 2) and I saw him walking through the cafeteria with Sala 2 and almost started to cry. Pathetic. I can only imagine what this means for when I have to leave. But I’ve been able to see him at least once or twice a day since then and make sure I get a good hug and a kiss whenever I see Sala 2 around.
I don’t know if it’s all in my head or not, but Albertina particularly annoyed me this week. I think that I’ve narrowed down part of my dislike of working with her to the fact that she can be very bossy at times. For instance when we’re all sitting folding laundry during naptime she will ask if I can get up to give a kid who is crying some more water (when she is closer to the door), or will ask if I can go get the rest of the dry laundry (when I’m still folding clothes and she’s out of panales (diapers) to fold), or won’t come out and play with the kids in the afternoon and instead takes her time cleaning whatever needs to be cleaned in the bathroom at a much slower pace than Sabina (who always manages to make it out to play with the kids in the afternoon). It also doesn’t help that on Friday Albertina yelled at Maribel because she had given one of the university students a cold towel to put on one of the boys with a fever and the student put it too close to the diaper so it got poop on it and it was supposed to be a towel used for bathing – so she was yelling at Maribel (in front of me) about how Maribel needs to be more responsible and how she doesn’t want to get any “mal atención” (bad attention) from Emma because of what Maribel is doing, etc etc – all just very unprofessional and could have been handled very differently, in my opinion. BUT alas, there is good news – because Tuesday is a feriado (Dia de los Muertos – Day of the Dead) I don’t have to work, which means that in a period of 9 days (Saturday to next Sunday) I only have to work with Albertina ONCE because she works Tues/Thurs this week.
This was also a birthday-filled week because it was both Leena and Hanne’s birthday (Leena on Thursday and Hanne on Friday). For her birthday, one of Hanne’s best friends from college is in town with her boyfriend for the long weekend (Fri-Wed) on a stop on the three month tour of South America. So I made deep dish pizza to celebrate on Friday night (it seems to be a reoccurring request for birthdays) and then went to a party for Leena’s birthday that was Halloween/costume themed. Jordan and I won most creative costume with him being a bottle of Fernet Branca (a herb-based alcohol) and me being a bottle of Coca-Cola – because Leena’s favorite drink is Fernet and Coke. I was pretty impressed with our creativity, especially because we made our costumes out of things we already had and the paint/string/paper the magic cupboard in our apartment provided for us.
Overall although I’m feeling like I don’t have enough time in my days to do everything I want, I’m very happy. Right now I’m a little homesick for my McG girls and jealous of Hanne having one of her best friends from home here – but other than that I really can’t complain. This is definitely going to be a busy week or so because Jordan leaves on the 9th so it will be a week packed full of trying to complete Jordan’s Bucket List (which mostly revolves around food). I can’t believe he’ll be gone in a little over a week, I think I’m still in denial, but luckily Hanne is really awesome – and I realized the other day that out of all the volunteers the two I get along with the best happen to be my roommates, which, considering rooming is randomly assigned (more or less), I am extremely grateful for.

Two for One Special

I apologize for the lack of posts this week. I wrote one last weekend (which I’ve posted below) but had trouble finding an internet café with a USB outlet for some reason. Apparently the Bolivian internet gods didn’t want me to update my blog.

So now that I’ve been here for two months I thought I should compile a list of the things I take for granted/no longer think twice about/are unique to Cochabamba and Bolivia in general:

1. People sweeping and water sidewalks. We used to make fun of Notre Dame for watering the sidewalks instead of the grass, but people here take after the ND grounds keeping department in that they are ALWAYS sweeping/watering their sidewalks.
2. Families on motorcycles. It is not unusual to see a family of 4 piled onto one motorcycle…all without helmets or any form of protection.
3. Dogs wandering the streets, sitting in the middle of the street, sleeping on the sidewalk, and dogs in coats (yes, stray dogs wear coats).
4. That every meal includes rice and/or potatoes.
5. Not having to check the weather in the morning because I know it’s going to be in the 80s and sunny all day – even if there is an occasional rain shower.
6. Not seeing white people. We went out to a bar the other weekend and there was a group of about 8-10 gringos from the MaryKnoll Center who were out together and I felt very uncomfortable around such a large group of white people who were not interacting with Bolivians.
7. Getting whistled at. Even by the boys in my own house. But always by complete strangers as I walk down the street.
8. Mountains. Cochabamba is located in a mountain valley so everywhere you look you are surrounded by huge mountains. Nothing like this exists in Delaware or South Bend and I almost forget what it’s like to not have them.
9. Amazing mass transportation. I’ve never had such an extensive mass transportation system before – you can travel over an hour away on mass transportation no problem.
10. Being asked if I’m married or have kids. And then having them drop their jaw in amazement that I don’t even have an “enamorado” or boyfriend. Doña Sabina has taken to telling everyone that I don’t want a boyfriend (false) and my security friend that I see on the way to work every day thought that David (a boy from my house who has started working at Solomon Klein) was my marido (husband) and when I relayed the information that I am, indeed, not married – he proceeded to tell me that time goes by fast so I should get married soon.

Other highlights of my week include that Doña Albertina came back to work and I was reassured that I am not crazy for thinking that the kids act out more around her because on Wednesday they switched all the mama’s around because Albertina shook one of the kids at breakfast and Emma saw and didn’t like it. So then on Friday Doña Emilen worked with Albertina (instead of working with Doña Sabina like usual) and discussed with me how she thinks the kids cry more around Albertina too and then went to talk to Emma about how she doesn’t want to work with Albertina and shouldn’t be punished and have to stop working with Sabina just because Albertina screwed up. This discussion occurred right at the end of the day so I don’t know how it went, I guess I’ll find out on Monday. It was also funny because Doña Sabina came in for a meeting on Friday and came into the bathroom when it was just Emilen and I and was like “Katy, who do YOU like working with more?” – kind of jokingly because she knew my answer – but it was funny nonetheless. Needless to say my favoritism of days when Doña Sabina works has been restored and cemented even further. Thank God she is working MWF next week.

It has been over two months and on Monday I will FINALLY have my visa process complete. Americans actually only have 30 days to complete the visa process on their tourist visa, while everyone else has 90. When I asked the Rita, the lady organizing our visa stuff, why that was the case she said “because Evo (the president) doesn’t like Americans.” Awesome. Thanks Evo. Now I get to pay 20b’s of a fine for every day over 30 days it took to complete my visa (35) – none of which was my fault for being delayed, all because the Bolivian government loves to take their time with things. I’ll just be glad when it’s all done.

My relationship with the boys downstairs has also gotten a lot stronger in the past week or so. Hanne is good about interacting with them and kind of gives me the courage to do so too. I’ve always wanted to do interact with them more, but I was timid because of my lack of confidence in my Spanish before, but I think I’m pretty good now. It also helps that I have an “in” with David because we walk to work together every day. I even gave him some of my music this week and I woke up on Saturday morning to them playing “Kids” by Chiddy Band and “Shark in the Water” (both songs I have to give credit to my brother for giving me, but the boys don’t have to know that…they just think I have awesome music taste). I will take full credit for getting all of Bolivia up to date on the music scene.

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(older post below haha)

Going into this week I was convinced that at the end of the week I would be unsatisfied with where I’m working and what I’m doing here after getting to visit all the other Amanecer houses. That I would have to sit down and talk to Tom and Melissa about how I really don’t belong at Solomon and should be working with the street kids at Yaycuna or the girls at Madre de Dios. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

Usually when they do the tours of the Amanecer houses they don’t stop at Solomon Klein because having a large group of visitors around a bunch of kids age 5 and under is usually a recipe for disaster. However, when we began our tour on Wednesday and Melissa told me that we were actually going to make a stop at Solomon I got this feeling in my chest that I can describe as nothing less than love and pride and pure jubilation that I was going to get to show off my kids to everyone. We were only there for twenty minutes or so, but I wanted nothing less than for all of the other volunteers to get to know my kids like I do, to see how absolutely amazing they are. Instead, as we were leaving the general consensus was “I could never work there, how do you do it?!”

How do I do it?

Twenty-three screaming, crying, always fighting 1-3 year olds for eight hours every day. Twenty-three baths. Twenty-three (at least) dirty diapers. Twenty-three little voices shouting “Mama! Mama!” and raising their hands to be picked up. Twenty-three screaming cries as soon as you put one down to pick the other up. Jonaton constantly headbutting other kids just to get attention. Omar constantly biting other kids for attention. Benjamin generally creating chaos wherever he goes.

How do I do it?

Because they are also: twenty-three sources of unconditional love. Twenty-three smiles that could brighten any day. Twenty-three laughs that ring in my ears. Twenty-three little people climbing up on my lap. Twenty-three besitos (kisses) every day after I put their shoes on and send them out into the play room after bath time. Brittany’s ability to mimic a scrunched nose or shrugging of shoulders. How Maria Leanor runs full force into my legs, looks up at me, and giggles. Gonzalo knowing exactly when he needs to be chivalrous and bop another boy on the head for being mean and then looking at me and smiling, know he’s saved the day yet again. Omar’s love of dancing. How Benjamin has taught Juan Carlos to snort out his snot and then giggles every single time. Andres’ ability to completely melt my heart with every look.

Sure, there are times every day (and sometimes entire days) that I don’t think I can take a single minute longer of the crying and screaming. But the number of times I am completely and totally 100% head over heels for my kids outweighs these not so pleasant moments 10 to 1.

Coming down here I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do, that working with these kids was just a short-term thing and when I got back to the US I would move right back to working with older kids and not think twice about anyone under the age of 5 until I was some day having kids of my own. Now though, I’m not so sure. Hearing the stories of my kids who have been abandoned, tortured, and generally maltreated and knowing that they have absolutely no voice of their own is overwhelming at times.

I have officially been here for two months and I am simultaneously 100% certain that this is where I’m meant to be and what I’m meant to be doing and 100% lost as to what this means for my future. But I’m okay with that. I met some really great new people this weekend too and had some fascinating conversations that I look forward to continuing in the future – but what I took away from all of it is that just when I was expecting nothing, expecting the worst, life has a way of surprising me and reassuring me that everything is happening for a reason. I can’t believe it’s been two months already, but I can’t wait for the next seven.

Oh, and Andres, Brittany, Navian, and Maria Leanor are probably coming home with me in my suitcase. Mom, I hope you’re ready for a few more kids around the house.

Health vs Communication

Make that three people who think my español is pretty good. Carlos, my trainer at the gym, told me on Monday that he was impressed with my Spanish for how short of a time I’ve been here. He also has taken to saying how many sets I should do in both Spanish and English - (“cuatro de quince” and then “four of fifteen”). Overall, the gym has been a really positive addition to my days – I go every day after work and have done both spinning and aerobics classes (including one on trampolines!). Although it is a good addition for my schedule and general health and happiness, it means I’ve been spending less and less time at the internet during the week. I generally quickly check my email every day, but once I get home around 7:45 or 8 I’m pooped and ready for dinner and bed.

On Sunday last weekend we went downstairs around 2 to investigate why the boys hadn’t called sancho (for lunch) yet and although it turns out they had already eaten and just chosen not to announce it for us, we did end up playing a spontaneous game of catch with the boys for a few hours. It was a lot of fun and I finally learned a few more names, so now I’m up to about 10 names for the boys in the house. It was just what I needed that day too because I had been feeling a little homesick – it’s been kind of amazing how every time I’m starting to question what I’m doing here something happens that completely reassures me and gives me the reassurance I need to continue to feel like I’m where I’m meant to be.

Work was fairly uneventful for the week. I had some really good conversations with the mama’s during naptime about their lives and telling them a bit more about me and what I want to do when I get back to the US – it was also really nice to have Dona Sabina tell me that they’ve already gotten used to having me around and will miss me when I leave (in another 7 months haha). And although it was a relatively uneventful week there were a few big events

1. Liseth got to move up to Sala 2 to be with her boyfriend, Juan Carlos (the two who sit on their basins in the morning and have makeout sessions). She has a fairly significant mental disability and throws a lot of temper tantrums, but the day that we told her she was going to move up to Sala 2 to be with Juan Carlos she was happy and calm and tranquil ALL day.

2. On Friday the kids broke into the cleaning cabinet. We were in the baño changing the kids after naptime and one time we opened the door to let some of them out and everything was fine and the next time we opened the door there was white detergent ALL over the floor and it looked like the kids were all playing in the snow. It was a bit of a panic at first, hoping none of them had eaten any of it, but luckily they all had just rolled around in it and slashed around and not thought to put it in their mouths. So we wiped them all off, sent them outside, and cleaned up the mess. Needless to say, both the kids and the floor were very clean for the rest of the day.

Our new roommate, Honne from Belgium, arrived on Friday night. She had been traveling around Peru and Bolivia with a friend from home for a month before she came, so she’s fairly well adjusted and has been a lot of fun to talk to and get to know. She is also 22 (turning 23 at the end of October) so it’s nice to have another person my age and know that once Jordan leaves I’ll be set with a great roommate and not have to worry about that. We also have a fun connection because we both studied in Salamanca, Spain (at different times and she was there for longer than I was), but it’s been fun to reminisce about some of the different places and our time there.

It’s hard to believe that Thursday will be two months. I have to admit that although I love my kids to death and have no idea how I’m going to leave them behind when I go, sometimes I wish I was working with the older kids. I feel like working with babies, although it improves my patience, isn’t making as much of a difference as working with older kids might. And hearing that Honne gets to work with some of the older kids at the shelter for street kids and hearing Leena talk about her work at Madre de Dios (the women and children’s shelter) makes me a little jealous. I definitely have made a commitment to go to Nazareth on Saturdays and hang out with those boys for 4 or 5 hours which I love doing, but hopefully once I get the tour of all the different Amanecer houses on Wednesday maybe I’ll be able to get more involved in work with some of the older kids too.