TIPNIS

I'm not sure how much, if at all, Bolivia makes international news - but I thought I'd update all of you on the recent events down here.

There has been a huge uproar over a road being built between Beni (the jungle region) and Cochabamba because it cuts through an indigenous territory (TIPNIS - El Territorio Indígena y Parque Nacional Isiboro Sécure). This area has been a national park since the 1960s and a declared indigenous refuge since 1990. Evo Morales, the president of Bolivia, began the project without the approval, or knowledge, of the TIPNIS or any other citizens of Bolivia. They have already begun construction on the 2/3 of the road - leading from Beni towards the TIPNIS and from Cochabamba towards the TIPNIS - but haven't actually started the construction within the park. The people are furious, especially the indigenous whose simple lives (they live in the "wild" more or less - still rely heavily on hunting and fishing for food and live very simply) will be destroyed as a result of the heavy traffic that will run through their home.

The TIPNIS people have been marching from their territory to La Paz, the capital, since August 15th (43 days) on foot to protest the destruction of their homeland. While this in and of itself has been big news for the past few weeks, it intensified over the past few days when the Bolivian police brutally attacked the group, who were peacefully marching, and it was caught on film. Women and Men alike were rounded up, beaten, and forcefully removed from their children and families. Many children have gone missing as a result and their are reports that one may have died. This brutality has fueled a fire within the Bolivian people that had been burning for a while now. There are vigils and marches going on practically every major city in Bolivia in protest to what the government has done. The minister of defense resigned because she was not in agreement with the treatment of the TIPNIS by the police. And people are angry.

Having a discussion with Diego about this last night, I came to realize just how grave this situation is. Evo has "paused" construction, although practically everyone knows he will go through with it because he has already paid a large sum of money to the Brazilian company to do the construction. People are angry that a Bolivian company wasn't contracted to do the work, but instead it was outsourced to Brazil. The excuse is that there aren't any companies within Bolivia who have enough money to finance the operation or are worth over 1 million dollars. But people are angry. And even though people are angry at Evo, angrier than I've ever seen them, Diego tells me that he still wouldn't be surprised if Evo manages to survive his next 3 years of office and go on to serve another 5.

Why?

Corruption. In the smaller towns of Bolivia, if you don't vote for Evo in the elections, they kick you and your family out of your house, take your car, and basically all your possessions and leave you high and dry. Although no one likes Evo, they don't know any other candidates, so they vote to abstain, but Evo discards those votes and therefore comes out on top.

It makes me angry. So angry. And I don't know what to do. This is such a beautiful country with beautiful people and so many opportunities, but it's being held back by a corrupt government. I can only hope and pray that they will find a way to overcome this. And in the meantime, I ask you all to keep the TIPNIS people in your prayers.

Games

So now that my kids are getting bigger and older and talking more - we've started playing some games that I really enjoy. In particular, I've recently taught them hide-and-seek (covering their eyes with their hands and me asking "Donde esta ____" and them taking their hands away and saying "Ahi esta!"). Although once started it usually lasts for ten minutes with them screaming "KATYYY!!" until I do it with them and then someone else screams my name, etc.

Christopher, although not the oldest in the sala, has taken to talking up a storm! It's awesome. I took a quick video in the sala on Friday with him "finding" the other kids in the Sala. I don't know if you'll all find it as adorable as I do, but I hope you enjoy!

Constructive Criticism

So this is a really hard blog for me to write. Probably the most challenging since I first came down here. I contemplated not sharing it, but I think it’s an important part of my growth, development, and experience down here.

Thursday when Jen and I were out for our daily lunchtime walk she mentioned to me that Sylvia, the nurse for that rotation, asked her to speak with me because she thought I wasn’t being as “carinosa” (caring/affectionate) with the kids. Jen immediately said that she didn’t agree, but that she felt she had to tell me because she had told Sylvia she would. As she said the words I felt a flood of emotion hit me. How could I possibly be doing anything to give the impression that these kids don’t mean the world to me?! It completely crushed me.

Jen and I went on to have a conversation about how the longer we’ve been here we find ourselves acting more the roles of the Mamas than that of a volunteer. According to Emma, the director, volunteers are meant to just give as much attention and love and extra stimulation to the kids as possible. However, after we have been there for a while not only do we change our own roles in the sala to be a bit more hands-on/helper than solely playing with the kids – but the staff also come to expect more of us as well.

I’m aware that my frustration level with Albertina has remained the same since I’ve come back (Clarification – Sylvia works the same days as Albertina so only sees me on Albertina days and not on Sabina days). Albertina days are always longer. More kids cry, more kids act out, more kids don’t listen, and more kids don’t sleep than on Sabina days. I try my hardest to still be 100% like I am on Sabina days, but I find that trying to stop temper tantrum #17 of the day doesn’t elicit the same enthusiasm as #3 or 4. I’m just plain exhausted by the end of the day. And as I have advanced my role to trying to help in the bathroom and with “crowd control” in general, I now also get chastised for letting a child cry who is having his/her own temper tantrum #3 of the day, instead of picking them up and trying to quiet them (although, with a handful of kids – Julio and Camila being the worst – even when you pick them up they continue to scream at a pitch that is definitely off the charts…and they only calm down with time).

After my feeling of devastation that Sylvia could think I didn’t love the kids enough, came a feeling of anger. Anger that she had only seen me in one moment and was judging my entire attitude for the children. Anger that I knew the instance she was talking about when I had let Camila cry instead of picking her up, but also remembering that what Sylvia hadn’t seen was my previous attempts to calm her (without success) and the other 10 children who I was expected to keep an eye on who were throwing their lunch all over the table. But mostly, anger at myself.

It really weighed me down for a day or two - poor Diego had to deal with my breakdown on Thursday night and I was just a bit off for a least the rest of the day. I probably even overreacted a bit (who me?!). In the end, I can give a million and one excuses as to why I did what I did and why Sylvia is mistaken in her judgment, but when it comes down to it, I’m grateful for the criticism. If nothing else, it will keep me more alert and aware of my actions. There is always room for improvement, especially when it comes to caring for and loving my kids.

Dear Mr. Weatherman

I would just like to know who decided to pull a 360 on me and make the weather in Cochabamba miserable. Really, I know I miss South Bend sometimes and maybe have been thinking about all the football I’m missing a bit too much, but it really is not necessary to send the South Bend weather to Cochabamba. It has been rainy, cloudy, and COLD for the past three days. I didn’t pack for this weather! I’m only supposed to be here for Spring and Summer weather…

Dear Mr. Weatherman, please send Cocha’s weather back. Thanks.

**To be fair, I wrote this last night at home and am just now uploading it, and it's a beautiful sunny blue-sky day :)

Admiration and Gratitude

This isn't going to be a long post. I just wanted to express my gratitude and admiration of the women who work at Solomon as Mamas. Due to the global economic hardships we are all facing, Amanecer has been behind on paying the Mamas their monthly salaries. Just today they were finally paid for last month - and we're almost at the end of September!! Yet, even though they had gone three weeks without pay, they continue to show up for work and take care of the children every day.

Their monthly salaries aren't very much - 600-800 bolivianos depending how long they've worked there ($85-115). I would just like to put out there for anyone who is interested in a charity to help this Christmas, to consider donating to Amanecer. They have offices in the States and your donation can be tax-deductible. The foundation in general is struggling greatly, but if you feel so inclined you can also specify that donations go to salaries for the Mamas at Solomon Klein.

I generally don't like to ask for help like this, but I know as the holiday season approaches (okay, maybe I'm at bit ahead of myself...it is only September) people often look for alternatives to the commercialism we as westernized citizens have been swept up in. The work these women do on a day-to-day basis is incredible and truly admirable, they deserve to get their pay.

Checks can be sent to:

AMANECER
c/o Daughters of Charity
330 SEATON AVE.
EMMITSBURG, MARYLAND 21727

OR

AMANECER
c/o Sisters of the Most Precious Blood
204 N. Main Street
O´Fallon, Mo. 63366

Relearning the Basics

So as you may or may not know - may know because I've mentioned in a blog, but may not know because I never write about it - I'm working two days a week at a home with older boys from 6-12 years old. At first I struggled finding my sense of purpose there, working with older more independent kids I didn't feel as "needed" at first as I do at Solomon with the babies. But over the past month I've truly begun to find my rhythm there and am really enjoying the change in scenery two days a week.

After working for a while with the kids helping them with homework, I've come to have a whole new appreciation for my parents helping me with homework as I was growing up. Having to remember how to do long division by hand after YEARS of using a calculator and doing more complex math seemed almost impossible. Fractions? Forget it. It didn't help that they have a different method of setting up their equations in Bolivia, so that confused me on a whole other level. Slowly but surely it's all coming back to me and I'm relearning how to do long-division all over again. But man, there's nothing like some 3rd grade math to make you feel stupid.

Lets just hope they don't start to put me with the 5th and 6th graders...

Enjoying the Moment

There are some moments when watching my kids that I really wish I had a camera on me at all times. I know I've probably said this before, but it's so true! I think I finally understand why so many parents have thousands of pictures and home videos - you want to capture every moment of growth, every "first"- step, word, bike ride, etc, and every special moment.

I had one of these moments about a week ago. I was out in the Sala with the kids while the mamas were changing diapers after naptime and they would send 5 or so kids out a time. The first set of 5 kids included Gisel, a girl who has been in my Sala since I arrived last August and who has a deformed jawbone that leaves her smile a bit cooked. I'm not really sure I remember how it started, but I remember looking over at Gisel and she was moving the mats so that half of the mat has against the wall and the other half was on the floor. She then dragged one of the other kids over by his hand and stood him against the mat and repeated the process with 2 more kids. She then stepped back and started waving her arms like she was conducting a choir - getting them to dance and clap and "sing" along to the song. As soon as the song finished, she took each one by their hand and led them off the mat, as if to say "show is over!". And as soon as the next song started she would put them all in place again. It was absolutely amazing to watch them play together inventing their own game. And each time new kids would could out of the bathroom one of the kids lined up against the wall would beacon to them "Ven!" ("come!") with a wave of their hand and have them join in the activity. This had to have continued for at least ten minutes, all the while I just sat in the corner, desperately wanting to spring to my locker, grab my camera, and catch this on film, but knowing that if I left I'd miss just enjoying the moment.

I've always been eager to take pictures and videos to remember every moment of vacations, nights out with friends, and especially with my kids. But if anything, watching this event, just being able to sit and take it all in, I think, maybe, I've finally learned how to just enjoy the moment. And I am so grateful for all the moments my kids have given me this past year. Both the ones I've caught on film and the ones that will forever be in my memory.

Proud and Happy Mami Katy

This week has been a rollercoaster of emotions for me at Solomon - I feel like I should write more about Nazareth, but most of my stories still seem to come from Solomon.

I had talked with Emma on Friday about moving Edson up to Sala 2 and about bringing some kids to the Monetssori. She had said Edson could move up to Sala 2 over the weekend and that the pedagoga would work on a schedule for me to work one-on-one with some of the handicapped kids. I was thrilled. However, I arrived on Wednesday to absolutely zero change. Edson was still in my sala and there were no signs of any special schedule for me. However, I did get to take Edson on a bit of a fieldtrip to go horseback riding with some of the kids from Sala 4/5 - although unfortunately there were no horses by the time we arrived. They had forgotten we were coming and had send the horses on a walk with their trainer - so instead it was an hour playing in the park. But either way it was a great experience for Edson to get to leave the house and experience some of the outside world. I mentioned something to the nurse about Edson moving up and she said Emma hadn't said anything to her about it. So I left a bit disappointed on Wednesday.

Thursday was hell with Edson. I arrived to him crying and throwing a fit because had wanted to be pulled in the little car that they use for one of the other kids who can't walk instead of using his walker. He continued to cry for 30 minutes non-stop and then started banging himself against the door to the bathroom while we were inside trying to finishing bathing some of the other kids. At lunch he refused to eat. And at naptime he refused to sleep. I was getting fed up because I KNEW if he was with older kids he wouldn't be having these fits and it could totally be avoided. But when I mentioned something to the nurse for the day (different from the nurse from Wednesday) her response was to tell me to be patient and they would get around to it maybe by Monday. I was fuming all day after that because I knew they could move him up, there was just a lack of communication between the nurses and Emma. I hated feeling like I was being annoying, but when the solution to the problem was so easy for me to see, I could feel myself starting to lose patience.

Today, Emma walked up to Sabina (the Mama in my sala) and asked why Edson hadn't moved up to Sala 2 yet. Highly entertaining because the Mamas have NO say in when the kids move from sala to sala or even which kids get to move. But the good news is Edson is now in Sala 2 and even from just one day with older kids I can see he is calmer, happier, and just thoroughly enjoying being around kids a bit closer to his own age. And that was all I needed to see to make the past few days, weeks, of frustration worth it. Even if I might have stepped on a few toes along the way.

Finding My Role

So I suppose I´ve finally started to settle into a real routine here, although with all the new volunteers that have arrived my schedule has been a little different every week.

At first I really struggled with working part time at Nazareth, not because I don´t love the boys, but because it´s not quite the same go go go tiempo as at Solomon - and aside from the hour of computers and hour of homework help, I felt almost unneeded. But as I´m there more and more I start to feel like I have a bit more of an important role in the house. My favorite part being watching some of the youngest boys light up as they accumulate points on the Math games - boys Hermana Katy has told me were written off as special-needs and potentially incapable of processing much when they came to the house to begin with. And it´s also nice to finally feel like I know how discipline works and to feel a bit more respected. Although the boys new me from before, I´d always just come to play and eat sopa de mani, and had never really been an authority figure before - so it´s been a bit of a challenge attempting to switch roles, but so far so good.

Although really my heart will always be with my babies. I don´t think I´ll ever get tired of Martin or Christopher poking their head up from outside the window and screaming "Mami Katyyyyy!!". But my current mission is Edson. He has always been old for the sala, but he will turn 4 in December and is in a group of 1-2.5 year olds (with the exception of Jose Carlos and Julio who are pushing 3). It´s probably the thing I´ve noticed the most since coming back, that he has both advanced incredibly in both the sense of how much he can speak and how much he understands and at the same time become incredibly more frustrated. He throws more crying spellings than he ever did before, each time with less and less reason. Last week he decided he didn´t want to eat and then once he finally started eating I said "Muy bien, Edson" and he burst into tears and refused to eat again for another five minutes. It just breaks my heart to see him making such strides, but knowing he could be making so many more if he just had a bit more stimulation.

I actually had a really good conversation with the Psycologist today about it. I wanted to talk to her because I wasn´t sure who to go to about really pressing the issue of moving him up one or two Salas - Ive never quite pinned down who makes those decisions, although she informed me today that it´s mostly the nurses and Emma. But we had a great conversation about the possibility of getting Edson and Jonoton (one of the boys from Sala 2 who was in my sala but also has been held back by being put with younger kids and could benefit from more stimulation) into the Montessori in the mornings. They had been talking about doing this when I was leaving in May, but the problem is that there aren´t any volunteers helping in Montessori and it would be too much for the teacher to take on herself. I´m looking into exploring some options of changing around some of my work placement (because we have a new volunteer coming next week who could potentially work full-time in my sala and then I would be free to help in the mornings with Monetessori). There is still a lot of work to be done, but it really gets me excited to think I could really be helping two (or more) of my kids advance in ways they wouldn´t have the opportunity to do without me there. That´s what I love about being here.

Bolivian Cell Phone Curse

I really don´t understand how I can go my whole life in the US never having lost a cell phone, and leave my cell phone in a taxi/trufi THREE times in the past year here. Luckily once I got it back, but the one I left in the trufi on the way to the airport on Wednesday will not be coming back. The worst part was I realized as soon as I closed the door to the trufi that it had fallen out of my pocket, but I couldn´t stop it in time and just watched as it drove away. As Jen said, that´s the most annoying thing about losing cell phones in Cocha - even though you know exactly where you left it people are so eager to re-sell cellphones on the blackmarket that you might as well have absolutely no idea where it could be.

Also, man who has my phone, if you wanted to sell it and keep it, why did you answer it the first time we tried to call it and then hang up once you realized it was me asking for my phone back? Did you think you would make a new friend from a friend of the person whose cell phone you weren´t planning on returning? Really. I think not.